Voice of my heart…!!!

 

My heart gets hurt,

don’t go away,

My mind gets blind

don’t go away…!!!

Whenever I see you, feel you, or think of you, I could not comprehend my feeling actually. My mind stops thinking, and my heart starts beating. The beauteous feeling felt in a paradise of spiritual lovers, which we both experienced was joyous and magical. It was your ecstatic eyes that imprisoned me in your prison of love. And because of this, your total being was loved and praised. I am in love with your existence.

Someone asked, “who is your soulmate?” I just smiled because the answer was you!

We are the soulmate. The soul knows its mate and where to find, without seeing through common eyes but with the eyes of the heart that can sense the presence of the beloved one. I wondered, when you were with me, I loved almost everything around me. Everything looked as if smiling back at me. I loved everyone and everything. I forgot the angriness and impatience. Yesterday, when I saw my enemy, I did not become aggressive but loved his presence. It was all because of you. I consider myself a blessed one.

But then, what had happened to me? When you disappeared without any cause. I was so upset that the whole universe became nothing, the flowers that we planted and watered together, now are dead. They are upset too. The sweet dreams that we both saw are scattered. The home filled with loveliness is dreaded by the rumors of our separation. Love flow in oceans has stopped, and the splattering of water disturbed the stillness of love. My existence is crippled. I could not walk on the same routes alone, as we walked together. I am in you. And you are in me. How can you think that going away means you can be gone from my heart? You are in my heart? How can you think that separation can stop the fire of love? But separation sets on the fire and it burns the internal being for becoming the baked-in love.

I was very foolish in love, I thought everything would always be beautiful, as it was when we were together. But It isn't. The world seems pretty colorless and faded.

Whenever I took a pen and paper for writing anything I was unable to write anything. But now I am surprised to have written many poems, and love letters whose title starts with your name. I do not know where this artistic person comes from, who knows to portray your beauty in the words. Whoever the person I have become, the reason is you…

Each day, I suffer from mental torment. I cannot bear the pain that is because of your thoughts. I wanted to get rid of your memories but failed. I used to think that there is nothing impossible, but now the definition has changed. Yes, there is an impossible thing which is to forget you. I tried a lot to forget you but your picture floated into my eyes and made me remember your cute smile. And again, I became yours…

Whenever you are away from me physically, people think that you are gone but you are with me, never gone. I always hear your feet’ sound coming towards me. Everything and every particle on this face of the earth bring your messages. Air is a messenger too, which carries your love letters, and the fragrance of your presence which alerts me that you are coming…

If you leave me, I will become sad. If you destroy me, I will become happy because it's you who make me and break me. if you make me unhappy, I will become sick but happy again, because it is you…if you make me unhealthy, I would give welcoming hug to every pain that comes in my way. If you make me wanderer, I will roam into your streets. If you break me, I would be blessed. If you tear me into pieces, I will smile instead of crying. If you kill me, even then I will not utter a single word, just silence will be the reaction. I am surrendering to you… I will not stop loving you. Because love is eternal. My beloved, I praise your beauty. I think of you. I miss you. When I paint your smile, I kiss your cheeks. I found myself talking to your paintings. I can find you, even if you are in the darkest area of the universe because you are not away from me. You reside in my heart.

I remember the day my sweetheart, when you spoke to me of love, heart, soul, God, and many other topics, that we studied but all in silence. Do you remember! you always asked me, “Hey! honey, please speak, why are you so silent? You always do not speak anything, why Honey?” And usually, I did not answer but smiled at your innocent question. Now listen to the reason, I always do not speak because I used to speak a language of Silence.

My beloved! I read the novel many times but again I have started the novel that you gifted me when we met first time near the God’s home, where we promised in a filmy manner that we will never leave each other, we are born for each other, and we will live together and die together. When I opened the book, I found a flower, its color faded away like me…

I could not erase the memory, the moments that I spent with you, the love we made. I remember the first day when you were totally strange, but very quickly you dived into my heart and made my very being beautiful and outstanding. Do you know? when you go away from me, my heart shouts aloud, and only utters your name, When you leave me, I feel as if I am lost, and I feel I am being exiled from this universe and placed in a lonely place where everything is so painful. These all were immutable moments, and unforgettable. You are in my mind, heart, and in soul. My heart cries, but my lips do not utter, my heart is broken but my outside structure does not reveal it. The Voice of my heart still calls you, loves you, remembers you, and only wants you. But when will you come back, my beloved. I am still waiting in a vast desert of deserted lovers…!!!