Voice of my heart…!!!

 

My heart gets hurt,

don’t go away,

My mind gets blind

don’t go away…!!!

Whenever I see you, feel you, or think of you, I could not comprehend my feeling actually. My mind stops thinking, and my heart starts beating. The beauteous feeling felt in a paradise of spiritual lovers, which we both experienced was joyous and magical. It was your ecstatic eyes that imprisoned me in your prison of love. And because of this, your total being was loved and praised. I am in love with your existence.

Someone asked, “who is your soulmate?” I just smiled because the answer was you!

We are the soulmate. The soul knows its mate and where to find, without seeing through common eyes but with the eyes of the heart that can sense the presence of the beloved one. I wondered, when you were with me, I loved almost everything around me. Everything looked as if smiling back at me. I loved everyone and everything. I forgot the angriness and impatience. Yesterday, when I saw my enemy, I did not become aggressive but loved his presence. It was all because of you. I consider myself a blessed one.

But then, what had happened to me? When you disappeared without any cause. I was so upset that the whole universe became nothing, the flowers that we planted and watered together, now are dead. They are upset too. The sweet dreams that we both saw are scattered. The home filled with loveliness is dreaded by the rumors of our separation. Love flow in oceans has stopped, and the splattering of water disturbed the stillness of love. My existence is crippled. I could not walk on the same routes alone, as we walked together. I am in you. And you are in me. How can you think that going away means you can be gone from my heart? You are in my heart? How can you think that separation can stop the fire of love? But separation sets on the fire and it burns the internal being for becoming the baked-in love.

I was very foolish in love, I thought everything would always be beautiful, as it was when we were together. But It isn't. The world seems pretty colorless and faded.

Whenever I took a pen and paper for writing anything I was unable to write anything. But now I am surprised to have written many poems, and love letters whose title starts with your name. I do not know where this artistic person comes from, who knows to portray your beauty in the words. Whoever the person I have become, the reason is you…

Each day, I suffer from mental torment. I cannot bear the pain that is because of your thoughts. I wanted to get rid of your memories but failed. I used to think that there is nothing impossible, but now the definition has changed. Yes, there is an impossible thing which is to forget you. I tried a lot to forget you but your picture floated into my eyes and made me remember your cute smile. And again, I became yours…

Whenever you are away from me physically, people think that you are gone but you are with me, never gone. I always hear your feet’ sound coming towards me. Everything and every particle on this face of the earth bring your messages. Air is a messenger too, which carries your love letters, and the fragrance of your presence which alerts me that you are coming…

If you leave me, I will become sad. If you destroy me, I will become happy because it's you who make me and break me. if you make me unhappy, I will become sick but happy again, because it is you…if you make me unhealthy, I would give welcoming hug to every pain that comes in my way. If you make me wanderer, I will roam into your streets. If you break me, I would be blessed. If you tear me into pieces, I will smile instead of crying. If you kill me, even then I will not utter a single word, just silence will be the reaction. I am surrendering to you… I will not stop loving you. Because love is eternal. My beloved, I praise your beauty. I think of you. I miss you. When I paint your smile, I kiss your cheeks. I found myself talking to your paintings. I can find you, even if you are in the darkest area of the universe because you are not away from me. You reside in my heart.

I remember the day my sweetheart, when you spoke to me of love, heart, soul, God, and many other topics, that we studied but all in silence. Do you remember! you always asked me, “Hey! honey, please speak, why are you so silent? You always do not speak anything, why Honey?” And usually, I did not answer but smiled at your innocent question. Now listen to the reason, I always do not speak because I used to speak a language of Silence.

My beloved! I read the novel many times but again I have started the novel that you gifted me when we met first time near the God’s home, where we promised in a filmy manner that we will never leave each other, we are born for each other, and we will live together and die together. When I opened the book, I found a flower, its color faded away like me…

I could not erase the memory, the moments that I spent with you, the love we made. I remember the first day when you were totally strange, but very quickly you dived into my heart and made my very being beautiful and outstanding. Do you know? when you go away from me, my heart shouts aloud, and only utters your name, When you leave me, I feel as if I am lost, and I feel I am being exiled from this universe and placed in a lonely place where everything is so painful. These all were immutable moments, and unforgettable. You are in my mind, heart, and in soul. My heart cries, but my lips do not utter, my heart is broken but my outside structure does not reveal it. The Voice of my heart still calls you, loves you, remembers you, and only wants you. But when will you come back, my beloved. I am still waiting in a vast desert of deserted lovers…!!!

An intimate discussion

 I was flying, laughing, and enjoying myself when I saw her in a beautiful garden just like the same in heaven.

I felt a feeling that I never felt before. It was a new experience for me. I wasn’t comprehending what was exactly which thrilled my very being. Therefore, this proved a turning point for me where I altered my number of habits and chores.

At this stage, I wasn’t sure of anything, being a victim of love, everything else felt mere an illusion except her. Even I didn’t think that this could’ve been love, which is the reason I was so happy or always carrying a smiley face. Everybody noticed a huge change in me, and I guess everyone did read your name which shines in my eyes. If anybody stares into my eyes, he gets a sense that I am in love with someone, and they get more curious about our love. People ask me who is my love? I don’t speak but staying silent becomes my choice and they drop asking again and again.

I think, this stage is the first step, where one doesn’t focus on other things, where the mind also gets intoxicated and feels the ecstasy of love, which melts the hearts when the fire of love is getting huge.

Because of her, I changed lots of habits like sleeping on time and waking in the early morning, eating habits, study habits, and everything just changed. I noticed, that I wasn’t feeling Hungary anymore, I was feeling full and complete.

The only reason who brought a revolution in me and changed my purpose of very presence. I left all the roads where I used to walk alone, now I can embark on new journeys with her hand in hand.

I feel Infinite Happiness l when she is in front of me, Her beauty is immutable, splendid, & provides sweet coldness to my eyes.

She was a daydream in my world where I find her and lost her too.

She is the girl whose place is in my heart.

She was like a spellbinding eternal flower in this mortal world that put spell on my mind and hence incarcerated me into the prison of her love.

She is mysterious and as complex as the reality of the universe. She cannot be understood by listening Or watching her but, can be felt through feedback and comments.

She was alone in the love garden, my heart was sinking and her too. She felt shy and stared at me as if asking me to kiss and quench my thirst.

We were on the wrong track where everything was a big lie. We both were overwhelmed by the demons and were oblivious to the surroundings. We were covered by the darkest shadow of desires. The unconsciousness, the ugliness, and the lust surrounded us in a way that we did not find a path. The desire was a deception to my love. Having intercourse was not love. I dodged but unfortunately failed...

It was all on the moon. The whole park was alone except for me and her. We were the first couple who visited the moon and had outstanding fun there. We got pleasure from each other. She connoted a desire, in a pretty manner. She moved her lips but could not speak, only sighed profoundly. I understood the silences, then I inched towards her. She asked for coming closer, I moved so close to her that I felt her warm breath. When I moved my face to hers, in response, She closed her eyes, I touched her lips with mine to intake the same air and enjoy the taste of tongues. Her cheeks flushed and her whole body shivered and burnt like coal.

There was a profound silence for a moment, the only sound was of impatience. She wanted me to do hurriedly everything. I roamed my hands into her hair, and she became out of control. She put off her clothes, necklace, earrings, and everything that she wore. I did the same.

She murmured in my ear, “Kiss me, dear...quick.” There was a pain in her voice. I violently kissed her so that it became difficult to move away. Her cheeks tasted sweet like candies. I sucked her lips. She was interested in everything, indeed, we did not get married, instead, she allowed me. Her voice was full of pain and demanded something more exciting.

I grabbed her arm and pushed her onto the ground. My eyes became red and stared at her as if I was hungry for her for many centuries. She enjoyed my body’s fragrance too long and moaned some sounds. Then I entered her in one harsh, quick, and joyous jolt. She tried to move aside and relax her thighs to lessen the pain, I pressed both hands on her bosom with such a force that it was impossible to leave. I kept rocking back and forth even long after. I came inside her, and could not possibly stop. I kept moving with such roughness that she feared I was going to get hard again but then suddenly it all came to an end when my all energy drained in a short span of time…